Walking away

I did it....or rather im doing it. Ive prayed about it, ive thought about it, ive taken the time to myself to reflect on my feelings and ive tried to talk to him and in the end i wrote a letter to give him...it was originally just a draft, i was gonna sleep on it and look at it again in the morning. Instead, i am much more proud of myself for the way i handled everything...

First, he called and asked if i wanted to do some thing then decided he was going to hang out with a chick friend. I sent him a message to tell him i missed him, and he sent me a not so nice reply. I didnt call or write back..i just said nothing. i threw on a movie and relaxed by myself. Then around 11 he called me wanting to hang out again and i tried to talk to him about the messages and he said something along the line of not wanting to deal with it right then and that he shouldnt have bad times with me because i had good times with someone else. I told him to have a good night and got off the phone. Within half an hour i was hanging out with some  friends, and he was calling me back wanting to know again if i wanted to hang out. Again i tried to talk to him about the messages and he gave me the same response. I polietly let him know he was the one who wanted to talk to me and if he couldnt change his tone i would be hanging up.

I talked to him about how it just isnt working for me that he has such a lack of care. After getting of the phone, he changed his facebook status to " beginning to think that some things just may be unfixable like a busted light bulb!" so i texted him "Your status, i agree" and we got into this really grown up discussion about how we need to take time apart and see where things go and understand that being together right now is not the right idea. I was alittle sad naturally but mostly relieved that it was what i wanted the way i wanted it to happen. But then he immendiately started freaking out about how it was just like the summer so i told him look this is exactly why were taking space. He asked if we could still talk and hang out and i said its not a good idea, and that we needed time to grow up. I cant believe how strong i already feel. I just need to make sure i dont see him and dont talk to him for a couple days then i think i will be in the clear lol.

I am proud of myself for finally telling him i want to be done and i am happy it was civil. I was gonna wait a few days to say anything just to be sure it really happened, but im gonna make sure it happens this time. I found motivation in the song that helped me move on over the summer....and i have to thank my friend for randomly posting it at the end of her blog :)