indescribable

The only word that sums up the last few days is indescribable, but not necessarily in a great way. I'm sitting in bed hungover wondering how i got myself back into this crazy and fun but very empty in a lonely way and somewhat confusing lifestyle. I'd be lying if i said i hated going out...but I'm gonna say it anyway. Going out is a great ego boost because so many guys try to talk to me, but it also makes me feel really lonely. I meet alot of cute guys out, but for one i only really wanna be out with one person (who i am currently kicking myself for even wanting to talk to) and for two, im sure they all only want the one thing im not interested in..sex...my friends keep telling me i should give one of these guys more than a passing glance but unfortunetly im an emotional cutter and i seem to like the pain and agony of being in a "close friendship" with my ex.

In the last few days, i have done everything i can to help the people around me and do something nice for everyone who means something to me. I have excelled at work, spent money enjoying and enhancing my life, and got presents/surprises for my close friends. I really really want to take my bestfriend out to eat, but she never lets anyone pay for her and i honestly dont want her to be mad at me for convincing the waitress to not let her pay..but i would really enjoy treating her to a nice meal and a movie. maybe if she reads this she will suddenly agree to let me take her out =D

I got my nose repierced and its been sore the last couple days...sucks, i cant wait for it to heal. also, im so thoroughly annoyed with my roommate. we had this crazy silent war last night that has been ongoing for a long while, and came to a peak last night. Jwoww decided to hang a four loko poster on the bar, which is pretty much out of site and then we went out (i went to the store she went to the gym) and when we got home there was a buddah picture in place of a basketball poster we had up, there were skate boards hanging from the ceiling, there was a "marajuana" picture above the back door, and some of her personal pictures were up...it looks God awful.

So i sat and deliberated about what to do. Obviously she knows that im not gonna ask her to take it down, and i actually only had an issue with the buddah. i feel religion and politics are two things you just dont put out in a common area unless its a shared point of view, and even then maybe not. So since she decided to put her stuff out, i put out every cross or jesus picture i had in the living room. I hung all the most ridiculous stuff and then she proceeded to hang more skateboards. whatever, if she wants the place to look like a skatepark more power to her....but she apparently got the idea about the buddah because she took it down. then (im pretty sure in a mocking attempt) she hung a picture which i think broke when it fell because of her banging with duct tape. Because we dont have the 'decency' to use frames.

I'm just kind of rolling my eyes at the pettiness/ imaturaity and choosing to ignore it. i only have to live with her for a few more months and im sure it will go by fast. I actually ran into one of her close friends last night and apparently she has the exact same problems with her old roommates and thats why she moved to this apartment. Her friend told me i should just talk to her, but that my roommate is pretty unwiliing to meet any compromise, she just wants things her way and thats it. Oh well dear roommate, i want them my way too and if i have to be annoyed by your petty bullshit well then your going to be annoyed by mine. This crap is so dumb lol.