I am so happy i got my sad lazy ass out of bed and spent the day with my bestfriend. She is truly awesome. I think we were both in horrible moods at the beginning of the day, but its inevitable that we will be silly and laugh when we get together. We went to walmart across town, which i remember like none of then went the longest route possible to chillis for lunch/dinner.... the food was super good and it was alot of fun. Im pretty sure we went to old navy (i think) for pink shirts after lunch/dinner. there was talk of big black monsters out to get me and the crazy nintendo game message tone on my phone. on the way back to the car she got ambushed by raindrops and yelled to me while stumbling around the parking lot "i've been hit!! go on without me!!" what a mess lol.
From there, we went to her place to check on teebs and empty her car, but really i just borrowed more of her clothes and we laughed at teebs who by the way was trying to make a quick james bond like escape from the bathroom (which we were letting him out of anyway) and he spilled his water, slipped in it and did this cartoon like slidding while running in place move to get into her room then he ran around the house like a psycho hacking because he was so excited he couldnt breathe right...
we layed around for a few minutes then went to see Black swan... crazy ass movie. i can barely tell you what it was about. There was alot of sexually explicit stuff and the the girl nina played by natalie portman was a freak show in the head. After the movie, we came back to my place to see if jessica wanted to do a girls night and what exactly we were doing either way it went. Then we went to empty out her car and get a movie. We rented eat pray love and watched it at my place, jwoww was supposed to watch with us but she was in the middle of her own movie so we just started without her. good movie. loko went home after the movie, and I walked my dog and checked my mail and just took the time to clear my head and breathe and thank God that everything is okay.
I have been putting alot of thought into the whole jacob- natty jo situation. its complicated, and i dont think any amount of running it thru my head is gonna solve anything, so im doing my best to not think about it. to just relax and let life take care of itself. I really feel like the space will be good for us, and will really help him heal and remember why he loves me. I worry that the issues will just resurface once we get back together...if we get back together...and i worry that once i get on my feet, i wont want to come back. this relationship has been real hell on me..im sure its been hard on him as well. but this seperation, the sweet understanding civilized mutual agreement feels like it will be good for any future relationship between us. im happy to be able to talk to him still...i dont know that ill talk to him in more than texts, but im glad to have him there. i really love him.
anyway, i am going to read my bible and just pray about it. i have no idea where God wants us to go from here and it hasnt been long enough to really figure anything out yet. lol my dog is so cute. she is completely oblivious to the world around her and i think she has ADD, she is so much like me lol. im gonna try to get some sleep now...if it seems impossible then ill read the good book, pray a bit, and try again...and if sleep still eludes me ill probably find myself blogging again. either way im signing off for now.
"You are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting (which can be anything from your house to your bitter old resentments) and set out on a truth-seeking journey (either externally or internally), and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared – most of all – to face (and forgive) some very difficult realities about yourself….then truth will not be withheld from you.” Or so I’ve come to believe." ~ Liz, Eat Pray Love
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