stairmaster

Jb,
i hate you. i hate the way you make me feel. i wish i had never met you. i wish i had just skipped the last 5 years.the worst part about all of that? its so not true. you use to make me so fucking happy. its been so hard loving you. i miss you all the time and right now im resisting the urge to call you and scream at you and then cry because i know as soon as im busy at work i will be just fine like i always am. i dont want to miss you anymore. i dont want to think about all the happy times we had. i dont want to think about how good it felt when you held me. i hate you. what was the point of the last few years? look where it got me! no where but heartbroken. we were supposed to work. i know everything happens for a reason and we probably are better off not being together....but just like i originally worried now your not here at all not even as a friend. you used to be my very best friend. just think of all the heartache i could have saved us both if i had just kept it that way. youd still be here now. i hate you. i hate worrying about the moment i find out youve hooked up with someone else or that you have a new gf. i know im gonna be crushed....and i hate you for it already. i miss you so much ugh why do you have to be so stupid. God this hurts so much. why does this have to be so harddddddd.