race

I just woke up, and i feel so empowered and motivated. I had this crazy dream, and i am a big believer in your dreams being your unconscious speaking to you so i always look them up and 99% of the time they are spot on.

In the dream, i was at my dads house with my whole family (mom, step dad, brother, sister, step mom and dad). my sister and i are playing and she realizes my mom left us there. i got really upset and called her and i was like why did you leave, and she said something about us not being ready so she left. then i started yelling at her about how she didn't even tell us she was leaving and she hung up on me. so i called right back she answers i yell so you hang up on me! and she does it again. then I'm like fuck it whatever. i go upstairs to someones bed which has a piss pot installed in it. my mom would never let me use it so i decided i wanted to thinking to myself, ill show her to hang up on me. then my dad yells up the stairs that were leaving.

 so i come down and we all start swimming....in the ocean... so i look up and see the city and i yell "daddy, look its so beautiful!" then realize how far out i am and say to myself  "Ive never swam this far before" and i guess my dad heard me and said "well lets see how much farther you can go." suddenly theres an announcer over a loud speaker telling everyone about our race...and i think the race was supposed to be the entire length of Florida. when i got to the end of Florida there was a wall with a stop light and a small island to my left with little kids playing building sand castles.

I think, well if i can swim this far why stop here? so i turn around and keep going. i guess i was the first to reach the wall but it didn't really become a race until i turned around to go back. then i was racing my dad, my brother, some old hot guy, and my sister. the announcer kept saying who was in what place and i just kept pushing to be the best. i reached the wall at the beginning of Florida and everyone cheered for me. we got out of the water and my mom was there to pick up my brother. he was like i got second place in the race. my mom congratulated him and said we should go celebrate and he says i cant i just got arrested. so we went to bail him out and suddenly we were all animals. i don't remember who was who, but i know my cuteness got the guard to let us go...then i woke up..

according to dreammoods, which is my very favorite site to look up my dreams, this is what it meant:
To dream that you are stranded, represents your feelings of isolation and loneliness. You are seeking out for someone to help and rescue you from your situation

To dream that you are urinating, symbolizes a cleansing and a release of negative or repressed emotions. Depending on your dream context, urination is symbolic of having or lacking basic control of your life.

To dream that you are swimming, suggests that you are exploring aspects of your unconscious mind and emotions. The dream may be a sign that you are seeking some sort of emotional support. It is a common dream image for people going through therapy.

To see a pool of water in your dream, indicates that you need to acknowledge and understand your feelings. It is time to dive in and deal with those emotions. Alternatively, a pool indicates your desire to be cleansed. You need to wash away the past.

To dream that you are running in a marathon, represents life's journey and how you are performing or feeling. It is symbolic of your endurance and willpower. Consider how you feel about the marathon and how you are approaching it.

To dream that you are in a race, represents your competitive spirit and how you tend to measure yourself against others.

If you dream that you win a race, then it represents your full potential and your ability to achieve your goals. You are feeling empowered and able to overcome your obstacles and those who stand in your way.�The dream gives you confidence and may be a "rehearsal" for your success.

To dream that you are being arrested, indicates issues of control and restraint. Some aspect of your Self may have been prevented from fully developing.

To dream that you escape from jail or some place of confinement, signifies your need to escape from a restrictive situation or attitude. Alternatively, it suggests that you are refusing to face your problems. You are avoiding the situation, instead of confronting them.

And my horoscope for today said: Things are about to change for you. Whether that change is good remains to be seen -- knowing your track record, however, things will likely take a turn for the worse. It's really out of your hands. All you can do is hope for the best.

and the tarot part said "don't interfere with the natural progression and development of things that out of my hands at the moment, but know it is about time for a change. 'Give me a minute and it'll come to me'."

After all of that i feel like i am need to look my pain and fear right in the face and take it on. i know i will come out on top...and that everything will be more than just okay. my dreams seemed to be a sign of comfort and reassurance from God that everything will work out for the better, not to give in but rather to just let it go and see what great things happen when you let nature take its course. I feel like i need to stop sulking over the break up and start moving on. i need to just let go of trying to control the situation and let it take its coarse. i need to face the terrible horrible painful emotions I'm gonna have to go thru that way i lose all my baggage and come out on a-okay on top of everything ready to move on and be myself. i need to not worry about other people and know that i am not ready to bring someone else into my life right now. my life is this big messy emotional construction site....but when its done, life will be so much easier to manage. i know I'm gonna definitely need support from my friends and family to get thru it, but i also know they are all happy to help me move on and they want to see me succeed.